10 mythes Academie voor Liefhebben Sandra Pijl

Myth 7: You can only have sex if you’re aroused. And if you are aroused, this automatically means you want and have sex. It’s the same for men and women.


Key to deconstruct

Step away from your stagnant ideas about sexuality. Step into the uncharted territory or sex!

Believing the ‘current’ way of defining what sex is all about, sex is easily devalued to being ‘the state of arousal with a goal oriented movement’.

Sex for the True Lover is so much more
It is the bringing together of the energies and bodies (whenever there is more than one) and entering in a lovegame that can go every which way: slow, caring, wild, tender, discovering, using all senses, being moved, as a man, as a woman, by the energy of your essence and by allowing yourself to be led by how your body wants to move, without ‘preconceived notions’ or ‘habits’, with freedom and awareness. In intimacy. Contactful. And taking your time about it. Ladies love that!
And you will notice that.

There is no set protocol going like: foreplay – penetration – afterglow. Those terms seem to solidified as frameworks of ‘lovemaking’ that we uncomfortably move about in. (What do I do now? Am I doing it right? Etc…)
Let’s face it, that doesn’t sound like a very liberating experience does it? But Lovingness is just that. Liberating.

Sexual energy is our natural state of being: full of the lust for life.
This energy is versatile and it’s our basic- and life-energy and it’s always present in us. So not just in our sexuality. Using this energy will give you more depth and pleasure in our sexual experience.

Seeing arousal and sex as a type of ’cause-and-effect’ is not so much wrong as it is way too limited. Enjoying (sexually) has a much larger range. The biggest shift is to step out of the idea that you have to ‘do something’. You can ‘do nothing’ and still come into a beautiful fluidity. Bodies love touch. We don’t have to worry about it so much, we’d much better let it go and surrender to it. It’s always improvised, called forth by the moment, every second of it brand new. Ranging from soft & slow to hot & steamy and not having a clue where the next moment will take you.. allow yourself to be surprised.
Magic will happen.

Playing with the masculin and feminin polarities in sex is… heaven.
The feminin is the receptive polarity, the masculine gives direction. They both have a different way and they complement each other. It is the very differences that make the magnets attract one another and pull each other further into love and delight.
If he gives of himself to warm the feminin water and she opens herself to receive his masculin fire.

Women have an ingenious system: They warm up slowly and when this is done with real attention and passion: they will go on and on without stopping. They can go deeper and further than you can even imagine.

It’s all about connection and vulnerability!
In the receiving she gives love and opens up more and more (yummy for the the masculin) and in giving he receives more (heart-)energy and this causes more and more love to circulate.
Without any goal other than ‘giving’ to each other, of yourself and of your love.
And sex? You’ll get more and more of it.


And there’s so much more in the experience. This is just the tip of the tip of the iceberg.
I’ve not even touched upon the Art of Self Pleasuring as the foundation of your sexuality.

So much more… gotta love it.


Sandra Pijl is... Puja Love.

Stay tuned for her new website and events under her new name and branding coming Spring 2018!

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