Myth 2: He should take the lead more and she should nag less
2.a. “He could be more present and take the lead more. Being real and steady for me. This would make our relationship a lot more fun and valuable.”
2.b. “If she wasn’t such a control-freak and would stop nagging at me for everything. Be softer and more welcoming, our relationship would be a lot nicer and I would feel more comfortable in it.”
Key to deconstruction
Start with yourself!
This is thé key. Both thoughts and wishes are right and true… The myth is that the other has to make the change. Yóu start! Be more of who you would like to be. Feel into how that is. Don’t wait for the other person to make a change.
Magic will happen.
One thing leads to another:
a.) She ‘nags’ because you’re (almost) never really available. Fully present. With authentic Presence. Her (often subconscious) subscript and desire about this? “Then I could lean back a little more, surrender and feel my femininity more, experience more depth and pleasure. That would make me a lot more fun ánd our relationship would be more vibrant.”
b.) He withdraws because you’re in ‘controle’ mode. His (often subconscious) subscript and desire about this? “Then I would feel more attracted to her and I would enjoy being with her more. That would make me feel more like a man and our relationship would be a lot more exciting and vibrant.”
Do you recognize the ‘nagging woman’ in yourself? Make contact with the ‘Divine Woman’ in you. She lives in your belly and she’s sending you all kinds of signals… See if you can become more sensitive to her, hear her and allow yourself to be moved by her. Be clear in your communication about feelings, express them before they become emotions that overcome you. Register that your loved one needs space to be alone regularly, with nothing to vie for his attention… Allow him his space. Do something different, somehting that fulfills your own needs.
Magic will happen.
He will come your way.
Do you recognize in yourself the turned off man? Feel into your heart a little deeper. There is a warrior of love waiting to be released. Look through the eyes of this warrior to your life and your partner (if you have one). See, feel, know that you can penetrate your life with love. Find the strength to follow your heart’s mission and see your loved one past the sometimes nagging woman: all glowing with femininity… She is waiting for you to touch her (heart). She is looking for you. The complete ‘You’ the ‘Presence’ that doesn’t shy away from a bit of a struggle, but instead takes it in full stride. Who sees her and touches her on a deeper level, cutting through all the ‘stuff’ straight to the beauty that resides within her. She is telling you something with her nagging… ‘Be stronger than me’. Give her thát attention.
Magic will happen.
She will open up.
In many relations M/V are reversed: she will be the more masculine and he the more feminin, in terms of energy, in the way that is outlined here. Deepdown they don’t want this and both suffer under the reversal. It gives rise to a lot of tension, but not the type of tension you’re looking for…
And so the blame-game starts. You blame each other for the pain you feel from not being the man or woman that you feel deepdown that you are.
This is a cycle that has to be broken, if you want to have an exciting, sparkly and loving relationship in every way. Nothing is as killing as allowing this pattern to continue. It sucks the life & light right out of you.
Keep this in mind:
You don’t owe each other ánything, you can give each other éverything by embodying your fundamental energy as a man or woman. What you give ánd receive in this spectrum will be greater than you can even begin to imagine. #takethatfrommefornow
(and you give yourself the greatest gift of all)
Sandra Pijl is... Puja Love.
Stay tuned for her new website and events under her new name and branding coming Spring 2018!
juiceful high quality
life & love
Let your intimate powers lead you.
Thrive in all aspects of your life
But I keep speaking and working in dutch and in Holland as well!